I arrived in New Orleans elated, almost walking on air. I knew what I was in for. A room filled with like minded women who looked like me and they were serious about building a business and living their dreams. The women hosting and training us, Black Women who were the CEO's of their own companies, who courageously took the leap and now they were mentoring us to do the same. I was so giddy and just in love Thursday evening. By Friday morning I was in tears.
Rosetta Thurman, the Founder of Happy Black Woman read a quote from Marianne Williams. It is a quote I am all too familiar with. At night I whisper in my children's ears while they sleep " you are powerful beyond measure". I remember mailing this quote to all of my friends when I first heard it. Listening to Rosetta read the quote. "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..." I was convicted when I first heard it and I was convicted at that moment. "Your playing small does not serve the world.." I felt the intensity of this line. I had been questioning my own power for several weeks now. My tag line is "taking you from Pain to Power to Purpose". I was not feeling powerful at all. But what if I stopped playing small, is there power in stepping up? In that moment I surrendered to the shedding. I felt layers coming off as I became vulnerable and at lunch time I was graciously given the space to speak about my fears and also my longing in the company of beautiful souls, seated across the dinning table and next to me.
The training was awesome but the bonus education was during break time. We were connecting with each other, listening and affirming each others ideas and business goals. I sat in the training room wondering what it took for all of us to get there. Everyone had a different journey. In reflecting on my own journey, I had long had the desire to work with Black Women, and already knew what I wanted to help them do. But I wasn't doing it. I was marrying couples, counseling them on the side and speaking about spirituality. All of which I love but I definitely wanted to do more. I knew that coaching Black women around wellness and spirituality meant that I had to deal with the many times Black Women broke my heart. But for some reason that did not squelch my desire to do this work. I had a long argument with God in my room, in the dark, sitting in the bed, then kneeling on the floor, then standing with my arms raised to heaven. Now, you may ask what's the big deal? Well, It is a big deal because I believe that in empowering a women she can then empower herself, her family and then her community. I believe through a full awakening of herself SHE will be healed and will also heal. It is her Black Girl Magic, her feminine alchemy that is the medicine the community has been waiting for. And so if I really believe this, then perhaps it is time to stop playing small and step into my own power...to be continued!