We all need closure.
Closure is self care.
As Black Women we radically need all pillars of self and soul care.
Some may argue that you don't need closure, to toughen up, let it go and move on. My argument to that is this: the process you use in order to get closure may be off but you still need it.
Let me explain.
The most common need for closure is when a person has no understanding as to why something happen. Most times, we will then seek to get the answer from the person who you feel is required to provide you with an explanation that you believe will make you feel better. You want to know why they broke up with you, why they ghosted you, why they said what they said, did what they did and most likely you will need said person to exudes a certain tone and or facial expression or else you won't believe their explanation and apology (because there must be a sorry) is valid.
The problem here is two fold.
You are requiring something from someone who is incapable of giving you the required emotions, words and tonality that you seek. They are broken. And secondly, you are making the ask from your wounded self. This is your low energy self.
and third (ok it's three fold)
you believe that if you get said requirements from said person you will have the closure you need and you'll feel better.
Here's a few things I had to come to understand that helped me in my process:
No one owes me a damn thing. It is not anyones responsibility to make me feel better. Everyone is broken even if its just a little bit and everyone has light in them even if they can't see it. I got caught up in the soul traffic jam of someones hurt and pain and that has nothing to do with me. I am responsible for my own self care and I am the absolute best person to take care of me.
Closure is self care
with the right tools and assistance I must find the completeness I need for myself.
I had to.
I was experiencing what I call energy leakages and I knew I had no time or energy to spare. I could not stop the questions turning over in my head.
It was all a thief to my time energy and resources.
I did the work by admitting I was hurt and forgiving myself first for being in unaligned spaces, places and with people who did not make me as important as I made them.
I actively disconnected from the person and the situation.
The distance gave me perspective and I then was able to see my own value, how precious of a person I am to love the way I do. I understood that not everyone can receive "all this love" because some people simply don't love themselves so how could they love me?
I got it and I moved on.
And now I'd like to invite you to find completeness in closure by joining my in a Closure Ceremony.
If you have tried and you can't find closure, if the question thief keeps turning out thoughts to the past and the past is very present for you, I'd like you to join me for this energetic group offering that will close off the energetic pathway to this timeline and give you the peace that you seek because closure is self care.
To Register for the Ceremony, Pick the one that best fits your schedule below:
Saturday. September 10: The Circle of Closure
Thursday September 15th: The Circle of Closure
PS: Yes I'm back writing again. I've missed it so much. So I'm celebrating with a series on Black Women and Self Care. I promise I won't try to make up for the last year but I definitely want to make my come back strong. I hope you'll stick with me as I bring in what I hope to be new perspective on your self care and healing journey!