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Closure is Self Care

We all need closure.

Closure is self care.

As Black Women we radically need all pillars of self and soul care.

Some may argue that you don't need closure, to toughen up, let it go and move on. My argument to that is this: the process you use in order to get closure may be off but you still need it.

Let me explain.

The most common need for closure is when a person has no understanding as to why something happen. Most times, we will then seek to get the answer from the person who you feel is required to provide you with an explanation that you believe will make you feel better. You want to know why they broke up with you, why they ghosted you, why they said what they said, did what they did and most likely you will need said person to exudes a certain tone and or facial expression or else you won't believe their explanation and apology (because there must be a sorry) is valid.

The problem here is two fold.

You are requiring something from someone who is incapable of giving you the required emotions, words and tonality that you seek. They are broken. And secondly, you are making the ask from your wounded self. This is your low energy self.

and third (ok it's three fold)

you believe that if you get said requirements from said person you will have the closure you need and you'll feel better.

Here's a few things I had to come to understand that helped me in my process:

No one owes me a damn thing. It is not anyones responsibility to make me feel better. Everyone is broken even if its just a little bit and everyone has light in them even if they can't see it. I got caught up in the soul traffic jam of someones hurt and pain and that has nothing to do with me. I am responsible for my own self care and I am the absolute best person to take care of me.

Closure is self care