It's taken me weeks to come up with this title.
In the last 9 months, I've attempted on many occasions to write, to host a circle,
to restart my YouTube Channel to post on IG and to simply just connect with you.
I could not.
I would sit down at my computer ready to create a blog post but an immediate and fierce attack of exhaustion mixed with confusion would come upon me.
I had also started waking up a 2am.
I don't know if i'm chipped or what but the algorithm noticed and I started to get videos on my social media titled If You Awake at 2AM Watch This.
And I did.
Those videos spoke directly to my Baptist background...
Jesus is knocking, My Spiritual background...You are Ascending
my Metaphysician background...You are one of the 144,000,00 and my New Agey background...
wait for it...
I am born of the planet Sirius and my planetary family sends communications between 2 and 4am. As a multidimensional metaphysician hypnotist interfaith reverend breath and sound healer,
I believe it all!
However, what was really happening is
my body was overrun with sugar and I was unloading glucose during my 2am wake ups.
Facts.
It was months before I was actually diagnosed with diabetes and a few months more passed before I realized that I had been forced into living a soft and simple Life.
The Soft Life
For the last few years the "soft life" hashtag always drew me in but what did it mean really?
I think for everyone it means something slightly different and for Black Women it is a whole new way of relating to ourselves and a whole new standard for how others relate to us.
To be soft,
is an intensive in all the things that has harden me. All of my unspoken disapointments all of the frustrations that I have push down. All of the times I had to deny that I was angry becasue it was expected that I'd be angry so I swallowed my anger because the door was only open for happy Black women.
Could that have been the origins of my life long battle with tonsillitis and ear infections? For me living soft is a review of my own capacity to hold space for things that simple do not serve me and the courage to not hold space especially when expected to.
I am currently engaged in these three questions and I would like to
share them with you for your self reflection and contemplation:
What hardened me that I can now soften?
What are the complex things that I can now simplify
and
Where is sweetness in my life?
So that I am not looking for it in sugar laden food, drinks and candy.
Over the next few days I would like to explore these questions with you almost like a healing circle but in written form.
Yes I'm back writing and just so you know I've never stopped seeing clients I just lighten my client load. The Soul Depot is still buzzing away, and for those of you in the NYC area that would like to take go even deeper on the topic of Soft and Simple, I want to invite you to join me at our Fall Day Retreat in Brooklyn where we spend the day, contemplating, resting, connecting and composing our soft simple sweet life.
The Details are HERE
I welcome your comments, just reply back to this post and I'll get it!
Lastly, Deep Gratitude to all of you who checked on me because you hadn't seen me post.
Thank you for seeing me and missing me! I missed you too.
I'll feel you in the next post tomorrow!
with Love Jill
.
Comments